Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
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stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
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Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I am one with the molecules
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