You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
