Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I think a kid would responsible me up
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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