My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
