I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
