We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Semen is not good for contacts.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
