I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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