My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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