I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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