This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
