Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
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Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
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I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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