mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
