Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
