I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
