I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
