I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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