omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
