You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
