Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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