She said her name was "party"
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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