he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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