From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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