Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
