Dual....:-)
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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