Got a toothbrush?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
