Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
