just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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