careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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