i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
