Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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