we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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