i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
