College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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