I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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