I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
