I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
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