I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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