Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
