No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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