quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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