How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I cockslap morals
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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