Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
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