everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
