How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
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The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
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Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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