Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I wish I could teleport
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
