She is in my trunk
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
