Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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