WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
