your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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