Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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