so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
