Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
