you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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