booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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