I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
