all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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