I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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