And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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