bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
