Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
